I went out this evening with a friend of mine. I wanted to get away and her name popped in my head so I called her. She was available and we hooked up for pizza. For some reason I opened up to her about something I wasn’t going to mention at all. She pointed out how I have had difficulty with this for quite some time. I knew she hit on something when I was having a hard time breathing and was shaking on the inside.
Neither one of us know exactly what my “issue” is but there is an “issue”. My prayer is that God will reveal it to me so that I can overcome this hindrance and move on to becoming the woman I am meant to be. Somehow “change” is involved…I think. I really don’t know what my “issue” is or how to deal with it. I know this is bigger than I am and it has been going on for some time.
Do I feel that work I have done is insignificant? Do I feel replaced? Am I having a hard time giving up control? What is my problem? What is going on?
I am grateful to my friend for bringing this to my attention because now that it is out in the open I need to deal with it. I can’t hide behind it anymore. It has been exposed and I can either ignore it and do nothing or deal with it head on. I would rather deal with it and move on.
On another note, it really irritates me when I am trying to concentrate to have noise. I need silence in order to concentrate. Hubby is watching In Living Color and has the volume turned up very loud. Now mind you he is sitting three feet away from the t.v. and does not need it that loud (that’s just my opinion though). So I am sitting with earplugs in my ears (thanks Mike) trying to tune it out. Let me tell you that it is hard to think with ear plugs in your ears because I can’t hear the words in my head. Yes, I actually hear the words in my head as I type them. Odd…but that’s how it is…remember this is my personality.
Yes, I have a problem. I know this. It was mentioned earlier in my post. I have an “issue”. Well to be honest, I have several issues. I am sensitive to sound and that makes it difficult when you live with kiddos and a husband who love to have loud anything. Nothing is quiet. I crave quiet…oh well.